Alice Doesn't Shop Here Anymore
About two nights ago, Alice Cooper performed in Kitchener. Yesterday, he was roaming around the mall I worked at...and I missed him, dammit! At the very least, misery likes/revels in company, and there was good company to be had. All three of us working at the store yesterday were Alice Cooper fans--my manager grew up to his songs, I was raised on them courtesy of my Dad, and my co-worker's a rabid Cooper fan to begin with. And a good friend of mine, also a Cooper fan, happened to stop by.
Our mission was simple: find Alice Cooper. I'm not entirely sure what we'd have done with him when we found him, but we were determined to track him down nevertheless. I'd have probably gotten a CD autographed for my Dad. John would have managed to have a very long and engaging conversation with him, I hold little doubt. Chances are I'd also have had to give Alice a warning that he had a roughly 5-second headstart before my manager and co-worker both jumped on him. Yet despite the crusading search parties to find him, alas, there was no Alice Cooper to be found. I guess he'd either just left the mall, or else was in a store whenever we walked down that particular corridor.
In the end, my brush with stardom only turned out to being slightly downwind of it. Oh well, at least I didn't get arrested for not having encountered Alice Cooper. There are distinct possibilities that something along those lines might have arisen had I located him. This is Alice Cooper, after all.
Though I should add that this excitement led to some of the most amusing conversations with my co-worker that I've ever had. Being the rabid Cooper fan, she still has this image of Alice being the scary-looking, badboy shock-rocker belting out how he's eighteen and school's out forever, and how the man behind the mask is back. The idea of Alice Cooper just casually hanging around a shopping mall (especially one as dysfunctional as ours) boggled her to no end. Especially when I made the remark about how Alice Cooper was apparently in Hallmark, buying 'thank-you' cards for staff at the auditorium where he'd performed.
"Alice Cooper writes 'Thank-You' Cards?!" she exclaimed. "He can't do that! He's the Coop! He's not supposed to be so nice. He's not allowed to write 'Thank-You' cards...is he?"
Ah, truly a priceless moment. Then again, this is also the woman who then remarked about two hours later, "You know what? John Cleese has really big teeth."
Today's Lesson: sometimes when the work isn't great, it's the workers trapped there with you who make it enjoyable.
posted by Phillip at 5:42 AM
